The 85 decibel Monks

How does your friendly neighborhood hip-hop producer Tack-Fu get that extra special handcrafted sound? How is it done with commercial analog equipment, whose value is less than 2,000 bucks?
It is a question that has been asked over and over again...I believe it's time for a straight answer...it's time to clue everyone in on my secret...time for an exclusive "behind the scenes" look at the entire operation from top to bottom...follow me now, as we take a tour of the Tack-Fu Productions sub-rosa recording laboratory, where my loyal band of Monks dwell day and night.

:editors note: This document is strictly fictional...the accounts, descriptions, and activities of the 85 decibel Monks in this article does not accurately describe the real contributions of the Monks...so, just chalk it up to one of Tack's alcohol induced fantasies...it's an interesting read.

The 85 decibel Monks are on the job 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hidden away on a small Iowa farm, they build beats, experiment with recording techniques, and mix the recordings on the spot when finished. The pay isn't the greatest, there isn't any health care benefits or 401k programs either, however, the 85 decibel Monks are provided with three square meals a day plus shelter, they work side-by-side with one of the best hip-hop producers in the business, and their devotion to the craft brings them spirtually closer to God. The turnover rate is low. The job satisfaction level is high. Let's go behind the scenes......

** The following is a step-by-step example of how Tack-Fu and the Studio Monks work together to bring the hip-hop consumer the best sound quality possible.**

::In the laboratory, original tape masters are recorded on superb 1/4" reel-to-reel analog tapes...racing past the recording heads at a full speed of 30 inches a second...to eliminate the slightest possibility of distortion. (most independent recordings are made at only 7 1/2 or 15 inches per second)
::Complete re-mixing of the master tapes are done by producers and engineers in the Monk camp. after the recording session. Each instrument on every track is delicately balanced, so that every note can be heard with transparent clarity and rich beauty. Original tapes are next combined into the 2-tracks needed for the stereo master CD-Rom.
:: Analog signals are transferred into the digital realm, and a master is cut on a specially prepared mirror finished CD-Rom. Digital signals are constantly monitored under the most advanced computer software available. Mastering is done under the most controlled conditions...all traces of dust, dirt, and outside sound interferences must be eliminated from the " Monk Master Room"...and of course, no weed smoke is allowed to adulterate the air!
:: Now the master CD-Rom is gently submerged in electro-chemical plating tanks. Here, it is plated with a "skin" of aluminum, platinum, & titanium- then a second coating- and finally a third. The end result of this complex process is a mold from which the actual pressings are made. Chemicals used in these baths are constantly filtered and temperature controlled by extremely precise automatic monitoring equipment.
:: Pressing is complete when each blank CD has been digitally copied from the master CD, therefore, avoiding any generational loss in the audio frequency range. (another tiny detail in which the 85 decibel Monks & Tack-Fu take great pride in)
:: Then, each compact disk is hand inspected as it is slipped into our exclusive FULLY PLASTIC jewel box. Recycled cardboard paper could mar a fine recording. Tack-Fu CD's are fully protected in the jewel box. It may take more time and money to produce our recordings this way, but in the end, the consumer is assured of a perfect product.
Ordinary CD's are recorded, mixed, and mastered with varying results in audio frequency. Tack-Fu CD's are recorded, mixed, and mastered with one result only-- perfection! Tack-Fu Productions will unconditionally guarantee that every CD will be free from original manufacturing defects. With the invaluable help of the 85 decibel Monks, you cannot buy a better quality CD regardless of the cost you pay!