| ....................... | . . .  | Personal DemonsTack-Fu, your friendly neighborhood hip-hop producer here. Props to the headz reading this article.
In this installment, I'll shed some light upon the over-consumption of various intoxicants, and talk about the backlash from well-meaning human beings who are eagerly prepared to express their *humble*
opinions about your personal demons. From this point on proceed with caution. If you believe you're someone who's not off the hook – off the hinges drowning in a sea of despair and confusion – God bless. But if you are, then take my advice with a grain of salt. I'm typing to the few, the proud, the functioning alkies like myself. Bottoms up to the booze hounds that are in the trenches, staying true. Y'all still get up and do the grunt work at local watering holes across this nation. Can y'all can relate to those soldiers? A few bad apples in the bunch, however, conjure up too much "care" and choose to make *your* lifestyle an issue in *their* lives. Look out for the warning signals that develop. Call them red flags, and they begin with innocent verbal jabs. "Dude, when are you going to stop?" Or, "you're just wasting away your talents doing what you do." Envy and jealousy usually follow. "You think you got it goin' on, but you know why those two girls are messing with you." Next, haters rear their ugly heads and soon the once receptive ears will agree with the accuser. And the chorus sounds like: "All he does is party and get over on these bitches, why does he get a free pass? It ain't right!" Finally, the take chargers bum-rush your world, saying "We've got to step in and make him see the error of his ways!" or....
Four basic words delivered and it's a fight or flight response. But wait! Actions speak louder than words. |
We need to talk.
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Plan of action #1: Don't Snap. Relax. Get your head together and consider it's not a hidden secret when your police blotter lists: Driving drunk, public intox (twice), open container in public, possession of a controlled substance, interference with official acts and a 'disorderly house' to round everything off. Crimes and fines, available to the public, due to the freedom of information act, that may or may not effect future employment prospects. Not a pleasant reality check, but hold on here. Remind yourself, no one walks the earth with a CGI enhanced halo over their head. Believe in the cliche about stories having two sides. Don't stress out, skeletons dwell in everyone's closet doing twisted versions of the river dance. Allow space for loved ones who come off like a syndicated TV judge. But ask yourself, what kind of kangaroo court did you walk into, and why do you need this kind of attention all up in the mix anyway? Proceed accordingly. Plan of action #2: Focus and dig in. Good defense is the best offense. Good pitching will always have the advantage over good hitting. Be suspious of anyone who claims their motives aren't about the money. Life's truths remind ourselves life isn't fair, so dust it all off, concentrate on the fundementals (clam, cool, and collected) and get back into proper athletic position. Plan of action #3: Spin it like the master – Bill Clinton You've blown off returning those pesky empty beer cans for cash deposit. It doesn't look suitable to visitors when 12, 24 & 30 pack beer can boxes are stacked in every corner of the kitchen. If inquiring minds want to probe for answers about the excessive amount of unreturned aluminum? Naturally explain you've taken a minor role in a community recycling effort for underprivilaged kids. Questions arise about the growing collection of empty liquor bottles that dot the household? Bottles placed on surfaces normally reserved for candles, plants, and knickknacks? Only study material for the glass blowing classes you've been attending twice a week at the local community college. In fact, the next project will incorporate influences from commercial modern day rectangle shapes fused with the more circular decanters reminiscent of the mid-1800's. Do you understand the power of spin? Alternative perspectives flip the script. Make like a chef and add special sauce to the tall tale with a dash of charm and personality. People that care and like you will fall for it hook, line and sinker. Plan of action #4: Know the role, play the role When the spotlight is on you, its show time playa', so hit your mark and spit the prepared dialogue with conviction. Inform everyone how much you respect their concerns. Tell'em how much it means, deep down in your heart, and how lucky you are to have them by your side. Quote bible passages if needed. Claim inner peace, or a bond with the environment. Let'em know how completely centered every step is. Keep a straight face – don't crumble, and project self-confidence. Getting angry and frustrated, or making a scene only proves them right and rewards you with a pass to rehab-ville. School blows chunks. And rehab-ville class means required attendance, which forces you to pay attention to the propaganda. Fill out those tests with a #2 pencil only! How many steps to recovery? Who cares! Plan of action #5: Keep the faith & show restraint Quitters never win. The only brain cells you're killing are the weak ones, sobriety is for the feeble. Time tested statements to hang your hat on. Did you really believe you were going to change your wicked ways? I didn't think so. Art Buckwild is no longer in the house, be a wise old owl and show some subtlety...take it down a notch. Plan of action #6: Common sense 24/7 or else! Toting around a 40 oz. covered in a brown paper bag at the park or beach won't score reform points dumb ass, try spiking a Gatorade bottle with 1/4 level of Absolut vodka. The lesson here is to continue the drinking habits under a cloak of disguise. Always keep'em guessing and off balance. Don't advertise your alcoholism like a number on a sports jersey. One slip up, and hello weekly meetings with real down and out undesirables on that bottom of the barrel type shit. The thought of sharing oxygen with those ruined individuals should give anyone reading this that not so fresh feeling.
So, headz, if you happen to stumble into a room and find yourself among a small band of close friends and family, just assume it's a gathering due to a job promotion, a birthday, anniversary or recreation league team victory. If the surprise visit is neither of the above, get your guard up for battle playa'. Play it cool and you'll be back in the comfort zone doing shots of whiskey with a pint of brew in no time. Can you feel me? Game killers come in all shapes and sizes; they're all about getting you upset and off your game. So bottoms up...enjoy those drinking binges to the fullest extent...
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